Living in The Haze

I call it ‘The Haze‘.   

Most people in the western World have lived in the haze at some point in their lives. Many live their whole lives this way. Living in the haze doesn’t feel quite right. The reason? Because living in the haze is caused by a deep and often unconscious desire to impress others. So what is the haze? The haze is to sacrifice those things that should be truly important to you (your health, time with family and friends and helping others) so that you can earn more money, to buy things you really don’t need, to impress people you probably don’t like.

Sounds crazy doesn’t it! I ask you to stop reading and think for a moment about what you just read and how it may apply to you and your life or those you know well…

Practical versus Emotional Decision Making

Need and want…
One of my great mates and I often talk about need and want when we are bike riding together. We talk about cars, houses, bikes, phones, T.Vs…objective ‘stuff’. Once we have discussed a particular object, let’s say for example the latest bike, one will ask the other:

“I know you think you want it but do you need it?”

The answer to the question is typically no to the need and yes to the want. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you have there will usually be something you still want. The interesting thing though is that you probably don’t really want it, you just think you do! If you are prepared acknowledge why you want it you will usually arrive at a version of:

1. To keep up with someone (The Jones family!) who has just bought one
2. To impress others
3. To show others you are successful and/or can afford it

Do you all of a sudden feel confronted by this concept? Has the initial confrontation now turned into a wry smile on your face? Don’t worry or beat yourself up just yet. This normal and almost automatic behaviour for human beings in the Western World. I wrote about advertisers and marketers taking advantage of our egos to create emotional decisions to buy stuff we don’t need in my last post (https://pairbv.com.au/does-success-come-from-focussing-on-failure-or-success/).

Farmers versus People in the Haze

I don’t like to generalise but if you observe the decision making of most farmers it is practically based whereas people in the haze usually make decisions from emotion. A farmer will usually fix and continue to fix their ‘things’ until they can’t be fixed anymore. A person in the haze (often living in a city) will usually upgrade or replace their things before they are even ‘worn in’. This should really be considered a waste of money, especially when we consider that debt may be required/used to afford the purchase and further sacrifice of the really important things may also occur.

Many farmers are incredibly asset wealthy but have limited available cash. They don’t usually ‘look wealthy’ because they don’t drive the latest European car, spend money on expensive designer clothes or have the latest phone or watch. They also rarely talk about what they have because they have no reason to.

On the flipside most people in the haze look wealthier than they really are, driving in their late model European car, wearing their expensive watch and preparing for their next overseas holiday. The reality is that they are likely to be highly stressed on the inside, living every day just trying to survive and maintain the lifestyle. They are likely to have a large mortgage on their house, loan for their cars and multiple credit cards, not because they need those things to generate income like a farmer with his tractor or truck, but because they are in the haze.

How did I come to this conclusion? I grew up in the city, surrounded by people living in the haze. I then continued this well into my adult life until I chose to move to the country 4 years ago to help me and my family to get out of the haze.

Please don’t think I am judging those in the haze. I still have and will probably always have some things I purchased through emotion and want not practicality and need. I just want you to be conscious of the haze and the associated pitfalls the next time you decide to buy something you don’t need and/or upgrade your car, house, phone or other objects.

Ask yourself what are you sacrificing to achieve this?

Once you get out of the haze that strange, uncomfortable feeling and stress you have become used to living with might turn into satisfaction and appreciation for what you already have. You may also find that you get to the enviable position where you own your life rather than renting it and can use your additional time and money to help other people. Most importantly you will know that you are living your life, on your terms and not somebody else’s.

My next post will include some strategies to help you get out of the haze…